Revamping my blogging habits and crossing over from writing about cakes and bridging over to the spoonfuls of the sweet life God pours out in front of my eyes everyday. This blog used to be for my business Icing & Aprons and it's sister blog is still up and running http://www.icingandapronsblog.com/ . After weeks and months of thoughts, stories, and revelations I've decided today to layout the roads being paved out in my mind and put these tire tracks to paper...well I guess it would be...to the computer screen and keyboard. I couldn't figure out what to title this blogging adventure. Then like the wind blows, my favorite TV series growing up as a teenager swirled into my head, "My So Called Life."
This was a TV show about a high school girl growing up going through all those typical high school experiences. Angela played by Claire Danes was a character I was intrigued by as I instinctively cuddled up to her misfit corks that I related to. Reserved, quiet, dreamer, observer, disconnected, thinker...not typical. Not to mention the guy she adored was Jordan Catallano, an equally mysterious loner who wore a skinny black leather choker around his neck...a fashion statement I found myself replicating for years. I liked Angela's perspective on life, her search for meaning in everything and her deep awareness and questions for life that surpassed the everyday worldly views and trendy topics. Between her and Keri Russell's artsy college character in "Felicity" I found comfort in meshing with their seemingly normal outer shell appearance and strange inside soul. They were different and it was okay...I didn't feel alone. Until that is I faced that..they were TV characters.
Well I'm not Angela, and I'm not Felicity...I'm Ashley. Through trucking around these years and making my own tracks...I've come to a place of being 'okay' with who I am...not based on any fictional character or script. I'm at this place by the grace of God and through the acceptance of Jesus Christ. My life apart from Christ is a road map of overlapping and cris cross tire tracks...a jumbled up mess...dead ends, U-turns, empty tanks, and wrecks (I have no idea how this car analogy has come into play...but here it is VROOM).
I always wanted to embrace my inner hippie and rent a van and take off down the road and drive cross country until the vehicle broke down or I missed my family too much. I could experience the unknown, capture snapshots of my adventure, take river baths, spit unrythmic annoying tunes from a harmonica, and eat beef jerky for dinner...in this whimsical hope of one day documenting and sharing stories of my wild foot prints around America..or Europe.
Well, in some weird way...I'm living that dream and desire. Jesus has allowed me through the power of the Holy Spirit to go where the wind takes me, to experience this mystery of the unknown, and dive into the rivers of change and freedom. I am taking snapshots of these moments...of these times and I'm using myself as a harmonic instrument for God. I am at a new 'state-line' every week it feels like. Growing, seeing, learning, loving, forgiving, embracing, allowing change, walking in purpose.
So here I am. I came to a stoplight in life with a fork in the road. I chose the narrow path to life and threw up the duces to the wide path that leads to destruction. Jesus is now in the truck driver's seat hands on the wheel and I'm chilling next to Him with a skinny black choker around my neck, chompin down on a stick of beef jerkey. It's the best road trip I've ever been on and the only one with a clear and purposeful destination. I'm one happy hippie. So through the lens of God's video camera and His script....this is my so called life.
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